A man walks into a shop and asks, “Do you sell spicy crisps?”

The assistant replies, “Yes, do you want a pakora or a whole box?”

I know this ventriloquist who likes a curry. The trouble is he tries to keep his mouth closed when he orders so he always get the same thing. “Sheehk, sheehk, sheehk”.

My friend loves his curry but the trouble his he likes smoking weed afterwards. He’s always spiced out.

My Scottish friend tells me her son refuses to eat anything but curry.”Well what do you expect? I ask her. “His name’s David Makhani”.

I met this Indian couple who complained that their sex life was getting a bit monotonous. I told them to try a  Thai.

My friend always eats his curry too fast. Everything is a rice for him.

My mum had a toothache the other day but she was determined to come for a curry with us. She said she would just saffron in silence.

The bosses at ITV are thinking of moving that famous soap opera from Manchester to Bradford. It’s going to be renamed Coriander Street.

My friend had a nasty cold last week but he ate a spicy curry and he was Raita as rain afterwards.

My friend always orders too much when he goes for an Indian. The other day he ordered a Chicken Saag, a Lamb Bhuna, two side dishes, a naan and pilau rice. I told him it was was an Aloo-dicrous thing to do.