A man is in a shop looking to buy whole spices but he insists on negotiating.
“I need to cook these whole spice in ghee to create that wonderful taste,” he tells the shop owner. “What can you do for me with regards to the price?”
“I’m getting fed up with you,” he replies. “My prices are very good but you always insist on coming in here to get a Bhargar.”
A man is in a pub having a beer but the place does not serve food.
“Do you know a good Indian restaurant?” he asks the barman. “I’d like to order a takeaway.”
“Of course,” the barman replies. “I have a few phone numbers here you can Dhal.”
A young boy is watching the animated film Finding Dory. He turns to his dad and asks, “I like Dory but why is he so blue?”
“That’s just his colour son, ” replies his dad.
“But does he ever change colour dad?”
“Of course son,” his dad says smiling. “When he goes on holiday he spends a lot of time in the sun on the beach. Then he becomes a Tandoori.”
There is a superb curry house up the road from me. Everyone loves the food, except this one lady who always makes a fuss at the end of the meal. She gets up shouting and screaming as she leaves but the rest of us just boo and Jeera.
A customer in an Indian restaurant just can’t make up his mind what to order. Eventually the staff are getting impatient.
“Shall I have the Butter Chicken or the Vindaloo,” he asks for the umpteenth time. “And the rice or the naan?”
“Sir,” replies the waiter. “We have many dishes and we can advise you, of course. But the final choice of what you want to eat is en-Thali up to you.”
An Indian restaurant that has been running for many years is in financial trouble. The staff are worried and the bosses have called in the accountant to see what can be done. They all wait in the restaurant while the accountant does his work.
When the accountant emerges he has a big smile on his face.
“What are you smiling for,” they all say. “This is serious.”
“I know,” the accountant says. “But I have checked the figures and it is good news. The trading has been up in the few months and I think the business has turned the Korma.”
The amazing thing about Indian food is that even when you are full you still keep picking at your favourite dish. The other day the waiter asked a couple if they had finished. The man replied, “You can take everything Butter Chicken.”
My friend always takes a long time to eat his curry. I sometimes ask him why he is taking so long but he just replies, “Don’t Reshmee.”
How should an Indian takeaway always answer the phone?
“Aloo, can I take your order?”
There are a group of friends who meet down our local curry house every Friday but one of them has a habit of leaving early. They all call him Ceylon.
The Royal Curry Club 