Curry tip 27

When a dish requires whole spices to be tempered in oil (tadka) you need the oil to be very hot to extract the full flavour from the spices. If you put the spices in too early you are wasting your time. To test if the oil is ready drop one cummin seed into the oil. If it fizzes and jumps straight away the oil is ready. If not, then patience, patience…

Curry joke 27

There is a superb curry house up the road from me. Everyone loves the food, except this one lady who always makes a fuss at the end of the meal. She gets up shouting and screaming as she leaves but the rest of us just boo and Jeera.

Curry tip 26

When a dish needs fresh coriander then mix the chopped stems into the sauce (because they have more flavour) and keep the leaves (broken, not chopped) to sprinkle on top at the end of the cooking.

Curry joke 26

A customer in an Indian restaurant just can’t make up his mind what to order. Eventually the staff are getting impatient.

“Shall I have the Butter Chicken or the Vindaloo,” he asks for the umpteenth time. “And the rice or the naan?”

“Sir,” replies the waiter. “We have many dishes and we can advise you, of course. But the final choice of what you want to eat is en-Thali up to you.”

Curry tip 25

Throw old, stale spices away. Sounds obvious but too many people still try to flog the last bit of flavour out of dried out spices. In. The. Rubbish. Bin.

Curry joke 25

An Indian restaurant that has been running for many years is in financial trouble. The staff are worried and the bosses have called in the accountant to see what can be done. They all wait in the restaurant while the accountant does his work.

When the accountant emerges he has a big smile on his face.

“What are you smiling for,” they all say. “This is serious.”

“I know,” the accountant says. “But I have checked the figures and it is good news. The trading has been up in the few months and I think the business has turned the Korma.”

Curry tip 24

Curries generally need seasoning with salt, like most dishes, so don’t be afraid to use it. If you do overdo it then lemon juice can neutralise the salty taste.

Curry joke 24

The amazing thing about Indian food is that even when you are full you still keep picking at your favourite dish. The other day the waiter asked a couple if they had finished. The man replied, “You can take everything Butter Chicken.”

Curry joke 23

My friend always takes a long time to eat his curry. I sometimes ask him why he is taking so long but he just replies, “Don’t Reshmee.”

Curry tip 23

When a dish requires yoghurt, cream or coconut allow your base sauce (onions, tomatoes, spices etc) to cool down a bit before adding it. This allows it to absorb better and not split.